The real meaning of the season: teaching children

LONG before the holidays arrive, children are busy compiling their shopping lists--the year's hottest toys, the newest gadgets and the games that promise to bring them hours of enjoyment. With their eyes glued to the television screen and the latest sales announcement in hand, most children are inundated with the message: "It's all about me."

But family experts and an increasing number of community leaders say that it's time to start a new family tradition, one that begins and ends with the importance of giving--not receiving. Take the time, they say, to show children how to give, how to share and how to make a positive difference in the lives of others by giving gifts of the heart.

"It is the parents' role to center their child around the true purpose of the holidays," says Rozita La Gorce, executive vice president of the National Black Child Development Institute. "Parents need to make their children active participants in the holiday process, not merely observers."

The National Black Child Development Institute and other organizations say parents can take several steps to give new meaning to the season:

* Teach by Doing. As adults, we tend to understand some of the more difficult concepts of value, compassion and giving, but for children, especially younger-age children, you have to teach them by doing, experts say. Bishop John R. Bryant, former president of the General Board of the AME church, whose family once spent Christmas in Haiti, has said, "Those of us who have been blessed should really make an effort to share with others who don't have as much. "Our children came back with a greater sense of how blessed they were, and a deeper understanding of the global reality--that there are people in the world who aren't thinking about rooms full of gifts."

* Give Gifts of Time. A gift of time is one of the easiest gifts that younger children can give. "Children need to understand that they have something very special and very valuable to offer," says Tangie Miller, mother and elementary school teacher in suburban Chicago. "Company is a gift. Your presence is a gift," she says. "Making a decision to give your time with a loved one, an elderly person, or someone who is sick is one of the most precious gifts you can give to someone. Children need to recognize that they give joy and they bring joy by simply giving their time to someone else."

* Start a Savings Program. No amount of teaching can replace the benefit of hands-on learning when it comes to saving money. "Teach your child to put away a small portion of their allowance each week or month," says Tearsa Coates, president of Teruko Productions and creator of the MissFit fitness DVD, an interactive fitness program designed specifically for teenaged girls. "Then, have them take what they have saved and buy something for someone who's [in need]."

Gorce, the executive vice president of the National Black Child Development Institute, agrees. "It's a two-part benefit because it teaches children the difficulty of sacrificing and the rewards of giving. It also helps them to see how fortunate they are and how their contributions make a difference."

* Volunteer. For both younger and older children, taking time to volunteer at a shelter, food bank, church or other organization helps them to connect the idea of "need" with the idea of "service" and allows them to see their role in developing a better community. The Rev. Suzan D. Johnson Cook, pastor of the Bronx Christian Fellowship Church, told EBONY, "I especially care about the senior citizens and elders of our community. We are especially blessed when the eldest members of our village are able to be among us. It is our way of giving thanks and showing appreciation for the many years they've blessed our lives and poured into us."

* Donate Goods. Although it may be last year's fashions to your child, it may be a blessing to another child who doesn't have the same resources. Help children go through their closets, drawers and desks to see what they can give to a child who may be in need. Instruct them on how to make separate piles for winter clothes, summer clothes, shoes, toys and games. Teach them year-round by making spring-cleaning an opportunity for giving.

So, make this a new and different holiday by teaching your children to give the gift that keeps on giving--a gift from the heart. It is a personal investment that will be remembered long after the holidays are gone. "Investing in our children is not a national luxury or choice," Marian Wright Edelman, founder of the Children's Defense Fund, has said. "It is a necessity. For it is they who are God's promise and hope for mankind."

Making children active participants in holiday-season activities, not only helps them to understand the value of tradition, but provides an opportunity to stress the importance of helping those in need.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group