What do we tell our children: an innocent walk down the street can lead to the need for a lesson on language now that profanity, salacious images, and racial slurs are commonplace

The poet asks the question, "What shall I tell my children who are Black?" Especially when someone calls the child, "Black, big-lipped, flat-nosed and nappy-headed? How shall I lift up his head, get him to square his shoulders, look his adversaries in the eye, Confident in the knowledge of his worth. Serene under his sable skin and proud of his own beauty."

The concept of parents who impart survival techniques to their children, including instilling a sound moral base and self-worth, hasn't changed since Margaret Burroughs wrote the poem, What Shall I tell My Children Who Are Black? more than 40 years ago.

Parenting has always been a tough job. New laws, new music and new technology have not altered the need for parents to communicate tough truths to their children, and to simply communicate with their children, experts say.

Equipping children to deal with negative, hostile, intolerant and disrespectful words, images, music, video and other media takes parents who are willing to walk the walk, by being the examples they want their children to emulate.

"We instill positive values in children through our actions, rather than our words," says noted psychologist Julia Hare, who is also the executive director of the Black Think Tank. "Parents should not allow profanity in the house. You should not allow your friends to come into your home and use profanity around your children. You also shouldn't allow your friends or your children's friends to come to your house half-dressed. You are trying to restore discipline because success doesn't grow out of chaos, it grows out of discipline."

All experts concur that teaching children about respect and values begins in the home. "It's the parents' job to pass on family and cultural values," says Carol Brunson Day, president and CEO of the National Black Child Development Institute. "The parents have to provide children with alternative experiences to what they will get from their peers."

Benjamin F. Chavis, who is president and CEO of the Hip-Hop Summit Action Network and the father of eight children, also recommends that parents educate themselves about hip-hop culture so that they can talk effectively with their children about the positives and negatives. "I recommend that parents strive to learn and understand more about what hip-hop is all about before rushing to an uninformed judgment about hip-hop lyrics, images, values and a cultural redefinition of some words that many people find objectionable or offensive," he says. "Hip-hop itself is an intergenerational, global cultural phenomenon. It is the cognitive, emotive and creative expression and reflection of youth who aspire to improve their quality of life in the context of their realities and struggles. Not all hip-hop music or poetry uses profanity. There is a lot of creative diversity in hip-hop culture, ranging from gospel rap to gangsta rap. Not all hip-hop is gangsta rap."

If, for example, children are exposed to questionable music, videos or hear profanity outside of the house, the experts advise parents to talk about those experiences and use them as an example of what is not appropriate or acceptable behavior or language in their family. "Have a conversation with your kids about it," Day adds. "Tell them, 'I wish you weren't exposed to that,' and then express your beliefs--that a certain action is inappropriate because it is degrading to women, or whatever your beliefs are. Just tell them. Let them know that they have a choice not to participate in this [behavior] and that you have to make choices based on what you value in life."

One choice that modern parents must make is to monitor technology and their children, experts say. "I'm a big advocate for turning the TV off," says Terri Adams-Fuller, assistant professor of sociology and criminology at Howard University and the mother of a 10-year-old daughter. "My daughter can only watch TV on the weekends and then, only certain shows," she says, adding that her family chooses not to have cable at home. "I think cable should not be an automatic, and I think that as a society, we rely on TV and cable for entertainment. Encourage kids to read. My daughter has to give me 10 pages of reading for every 10 minutes of computer time or TV time."

Adams-Fuller says that requiring reading time encourages kids to get into the habit of reading for entertainment instead of reaching for the remote. She also says that children under 12 should not be exposed to music videos at all and that parents should monitor the music videos their older children are watching. "I refuse to have my child have those images in her consciousness because images have a lasting effect on people," she says. To further protect her child, Adams-Fuller doesn't allow her daughter to download any music unless she reviews it first, and she urges other parents to do the same.