Daddy's home: more men are becoming stay-at-home fathers—and reaping the rewards

That's when Steve Perkins, owner of Sugar 'n Spice Kinderworld, based in Detroit, received word that someone had broken into his day-care center.

Perkins got out of bed and drove to-his business--only to discover that the would-be thief was still inside. That's when Perkins, who manages Sugar 'n Spice, where he and his staff oversee the early development of some 80 children, decided to take a chapter from his father's book: "I sat him down and made him cry," recalls Perkins, who is 6-foot-4 and weighs 270 pounds. "I led him to understand that he was not to mess with my school."

It's all in a day's work for Perkins, 42, who himself grew up inside the day care, which was founded in 1966 by his parents, Myla and Edgar Perkins. He has also seen all four of his daughters--ages 14, 12, 7 and 5--pass through the school's brightly colored walls. While his wife and college sweetheart Cheryl works as registered nurse, Perkins, who has been the administrator for Sugar 'n Spice for 25 years, deals with the tummy aches and macaroni artworks of the children entrusted to him. "I have an easy job," says Perkins, who makes sure that children attending his school say a blessing before they eat a meal. For the first time in years he doesn't have one of his daughters attending the school, which he runs with the help of a longtime, capable staff. "If you keep the focus, the day goes by smoothly," he says. "There is nothing that I wouldn't do for these children that I wouldn't do for my own children."

While Perkins' role as a child-care provider is rare, stay-at-home fathers have increased from 93,000 in 2000 to 142,000 in 2005, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. As the numbers continue to rise, society seems to be adjusting to a new demographic ofdads who have left the traditional workplace for various reasons, such as corporate downsizing or securing jobs that allow them to work from inside the home. Some fathers have found themselves in situations where their wives made more money and it made more sense for them to become the caregiver, rather than the breadwinner.

Role Reversal

Such was the case with Michelle Williams of Leland, Miss., a school administrator, whose husband, James, has his own Web-based business at home and cares for their 2-year-old twin sons. "We were working to pay child care," says Michelle. "I made more money than he did and had better benefits. Another good thing that came out of his staying home was that one of our sons had a recurring upper-respiratory infection. Since he's been at home with his father, his health has improved."

As long as both parents are comfortable with the father's role as a stay-at-home parent, the situation can be successful for all parties involved, according to experts.

"The success is tied to the couple themselves," says Arthur Day, a licensed marriage and family therapist with practices based in Los Angeles and Sacramento. "It's been the other way for many years--with the woman being the nurturer. Some fathers can very much be nurturing parents, depending on how they were raised. As long as the father is not putting off responsibility and if the couple is united, they can more effectively deal with the negativity from others who haven't bought into this type of relationship."

It may be a while before it's commonplace to see dads congregating at playgrounds during weekdays. However, society is making inroads concerning stay-at-home dads. Many men's public bathrooms now feature baby-changing stations. Another sure indication of a trend: Online blogs and Internet support groups for stay-at-home dads, called SAHDs, are springing up to provide an outlet for parental male bonding, such as www.rebeldad.com.

Father Knows Best

During a trip to his alma mater, Knoxville College in Tennessee, Tony Jones, 42, took his two children, Aryanna, 9, and AJ, 7, to visit Black historic sites. The children began living with Jones after he split from his wife of 13 years. He was raised by his mother, Ann Romans, and didn't want his children to grow up without him. "I didn't appreciate my mother until I had children," says Jones, who is a radio personality in Shaker Heights, Ohio.

He decided to set up his home-office so that he could broadcast his show from his home. The setup allows him the flexibility to help raise Aryanna and AJ, who live with him, although he shares joint custody with his wife, a flight attendant.

In the beginning, he struggled, mostly with trying to comb and style his daughter's hair. "I did the best I could," recalls Jones. "For a while she wore baseball caps a lot. I must say that it's rewarding to work from home. I take them to school in the morning and when the bus drops them off, I'm here. I help with their homework, and we have family time all the time."

For many, such as Perkins, Williams and Jones, who have all made the decision to be more involved in raising their children, the benefits of flail-time parenting can be life changing for both child and parent.