The 'minefield' of negativity

I'm in a positive state of mind--which by 2006 standards marks me as a dangerous woman. I agree with Evillene, the witch in The Wiz, who stated with ungrammatical profundity to all around her--"Don't nobody bring me no bad news." It's a difficult thing to be a positive Sister in today's society with its avalanche of bad news. Between the murder, mayhem and kidnappings--all before breakfast--it's difficult not to be depressed before you get out the door. Couple that with the new "pack" mentality that makes nearly every cell phone call, text message or private chat a minefield of "he/say, she/say," "didn't you know" and/or "haven't you heard?" It's a real battle to attempt to stay up-tempo in a downbeat world.

When your friends call and want to tell you their latest problem du jour, stop them and say, "Give me the good news first." Enlist your friends to turn a negative vibe into a positive flow. Allow them to jump-start your positivity, and break the habit of negative responses. Remember, you have to practice being positive. I have a friend who begins every conversation with, "What's right in your life?"

So I want to encourage us "Sunny Side of the Street" folks to hang in there, even when the world is full of doom and gloom. It's a choice to remove yourself from the morass of half-empty thinking and to deliberately determine to take life on a half-full basis.

Sometimes it seems as if the world is subscribing to the "Toddler's Creed." Elisa Morgan, president of MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) International, wrote this insight into a child's view of the world: "Toddler's Creed: If I want it, it's mine. If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine. If I can take it away from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it's mine, it will never belong to anyone else, no matter what. If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine. If it looks just like mine, it is mine."

Because I live with a pre-schooler, I have seen this creed in action and it is hilarious to watch--in a toddler. And anyone who has ever spent any time with a 4-year-old, or watched a group of pre-schoolers at play, knows how true that creed is.

But the problem comes when adults are still living this way and acting like children. This selfish mode of thinking can lead us into the "desperate housewife" mentality that is currently permeating our world. Sisters, let's resolve to look up and look on the brighter side. Whatever the "it" is in your life that's bringing you down and causing you to be negative--fight off that attitude. When your friends call with the juiciest gossip--be busy, really busy.

In short, don't carry tales and don't tell them. If you have a personal problem, I know this is radical, but keep it personal. There's an old saying that the only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead. Stay classy; don't put your business on blast, telling everyone you know. Whatever's wrong, it could be worse. Whoever done you wrong, it'll be better next time.

To avoid the minefield of negativity, think of simple things that most people overlook to lift your mood, change your mind-set and help you navigate that negativity minefield. Here are a few to get you started:

* Express checkout lines.

* A full moon on a clear night.

* Chocolate.

* Gentle men.

* Losing just one pound.

* Fat is not the antiChrist.

* Someone asking, "How are you?"--and really caring about the answer.

* A girlfriend who listens.

* A kiss from your son in public when his friends are around.

* Realizing that perfection is highly overrated.

* Your favorite song on the radio.

* Laughing out loud.

And don't let nobody bring you no bad news.

COPYRIGHT 2006 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning