'We are family': a working parents' guide to successful child-rearing

There comes a time when every parent must lay down the law. For James and Cristi Walker, who are lawyers and parents of four children--Jordan, 12, James, 10, Kristian, 8, and Zion, 3--that involves pulling together as a family in their daily routine.

Most working parents find it a challenge to juggle peanut butter sandwiches and corporate agendas. But for the Walkers, whose family motto is, "We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us," it's all about prioritizing your life.

"Everybody is in-sync," says James, who along with Cristi, has a BlackBerry so that they can track real estate closings, meetings and telephone conferences held at Walker & Associates, LLP, their 12-person entertainment law and real estate office, based in Connecticut. Add to their schedule son James' three-times-a-week football practice games, which either James or Cristi attends regularly.

One of the things that keeps his family's busy schedule humming smoothly is old-fashioned teamwork, according to James, who represents some big names in the music industry, including DMX, the Rev. Shirley Caesar, and singers Bobby Jones and Freddie Jackson.

Every morning, 12-year-old daughter Jordan starts her day at 6 a.m. in order to make it to her Catholic school on time, while son James, known as L.J., and Kristian, wake up an hour later to attend public school. Before everyone departs the house, there is usually a family prayer. The baby of the family, Zion, goes off to day care with mom or dad three days a week. In addition, two days of the toddler's week are spent in his parents' law firm, where he naps on a sofa in one of the offices for a few hours, then heads to a corporate lunch of hot dogs and fries at a nearby restaurant with his father.

"The first thing is that you have to break all the traditional roles," says James. "Whatever needs to get done, you have to get it done. If that means that I have to get in the kitchen and cook, or go to the store and pick up pizza when Cristi has to work late, I do it. It means Cristi has to jump in and take our son to football practice and help him with that when I am working ... As a father of four and a business owner, the process is difficult, but do-able, if you put God first and family first. I spend Monday through Friday very disciplined and build my schedule around who has a football game, soccer game, church recital, acting class, art class or karate class."

James, who has degrees in journalism and law from Howard University as well as a master's degree in divinity from Yale, also teaches at the University of Connecticut Law School. Cristi has a degree in psychology from UCLA and a law degree from Howard University, where the couple met.

They have been married for 12 years and live in North Stamford, an exclusive community where they purchased and built a 10,000-square-foot, 20-room home for $2 million. Among the Walker home's amenities are a 10-seat movie theater/mini game room, exercise room, music studio and private apartment for Cristi's mom, who helps with the kids.

There are no nannies, chefs, butlers or housekeepers. "We don't believe in any of that," says James, who was raised in Connecticut by his grandmother, who insisted that he clean the house on Saturday mornings. "It's like the old days," says Cristi, who gets up 4 or 5 a.m. to get work done before the children get up. "My older daughter takes out food for dinner and starts prepping before I get home around 5 p.m."

After dinner, Cristi makes sure that she has the children's school agenda--homework assignments, PTA meetings and teachers' conferences--on her radar. The Walker children have been taught to embrace their daily routine, from homework to domestic chores. L.J., who sings and plays football, sometimes cooks breakfast for the family. Jordan, an A-student, often takes on the job of doing laundry. Kristian, an aspiring actress, also helps with housework, including taking out the trash, washing dishes and sweeping floors. The older children also check one another's homework, and they all keep an eye on baby Zion, assisting him in toilet-training and brushing his teeth. Grandma is there too, just in case.

The young parents admit that they are strict disciplinarians who "try hard not to spank, but on occasion, [the children] will get a spanking." Perhaps that attitude contributes to the the Walkers' workable family schedule, which charts each child's responsibilities and is coordinated by Cristi Walker. The schedule is flexible, she admits. But only after the children finish their chores and homework can they schedule free time to do the things they enjoy.

As young and aspiring lawyers, James and Cristi worked long hours, often from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. in 1998 the Walkers opened their own law firm in the basement of their first home. The family moved to Stamford in 2003 and Cristi and James opened their firm inside a commercial office space in the Midtown area. Both admit that being entrepreneurs of several businesses actually allows their schedules more flexibility--a must for working parents. For example, if a child is sick, Cristi or James works from home.