Sweating with your spouse: working out with your significant other can benefit both of you—body, mind and spirit

Bright and early on a Saturday morning, couples clad in workout attire file into a church where their leader awaits them. Kai Bandy isn't the group's spiritual leader--at least not officially. She's a personal trainer who conducts an exercise class for married couples that's appropriately called "Sweat With Your Spouse." The couples in Bandy's class, held inside First Church of Christ Holiness (USA) in Washington, D.C., might disagree on whether or not the diminutive powerhouse (she's 5-feet-3-inches tall) does, in fact, minis ter to more than just their fitness needs.

For example, during a session, the high-energy Bandy often will have couples turn and face each other to help alleviate tension and friction. "I'll tell them to look their partner dead in the eye and say something affirming," says Bandy, who insists that wives address their husbands as kings and that husbands refer to their wives as queens. "For instance, I say, 'Queens, tell your king that, I will encourage you and never judge you.'"

If a couple is having problems making eye contact with each other, Bandy will gently prod them and encourage them to repeat the exercise. She's a stickler for these types of details during her class, which she feels is the first step to helping a couple break down barriers that may be impeding their communication, not just in the class, but at home too. Although she won't go into detail, she will admit that her class has helped several marriages that were in trouble, as she often takes time to encourage her clients beyond their workout.

"It's a good feeling," says Bandy, whose husband, Robert, always attends her class as her workout partner. "What better person to work out with than your spouse because you know their weaknesses and their strengths."

Sherrill Hawkins and her husband, Ronald, have been working out as a couple with Bandy for three years. At first, Hawkins was content to stay in bed and sleep while her husband went to the gym. Then, for health reasons, she took the "Sweat With Your Spouse" class, along with her husband. They even brought along their 13-year-old son. She found the class--which includes cardio, high jumps and some aerobic moves in the regimen--invigorating, and she became hooked. "My husband is uncoordinated," says Hawkins. "I can help him stay with the routine when Kai makes the change."

For many busy couples, the class is a perfect opportunity to spend quality time together. Although some couples may be reluctant to work out together at first, there are some benefits to having your significant other as your workout partner. "I don't see any down side to working out with your spouse," says Hawkins, who recommends that couples schedule time to work out together. "If you are trying to strengthen your marriage, or [trying to] just be close, working out together is an excellent way to do that."

Bandy, who lives in Washington, D.C., began a personal quest for fitness one day after she heard a church sermon on the subject.

"I knew I could make a difference in the fitness area," she says. She gave her employer her resignation after 15 years on the job and started Body by Kai/Spirit by God, a health, fitness and personal training company. That was six years ago. Today, she holds certifications from the American Aerobic Association International and the International Sports Medicine Association. She also has a healthy roster of clients, even though she only takes referrals.

Bandy's own journey with controlling her weight is one that she shares willingly and hopes that others will learn from it. All of her life, she says, she's had the ability to gain and quickly lose weight by exercising. Her dress size at times would go from a size 2 or 4 to a size 14. "I loved to eat," she says. "I was never a smoker or a drinker. But I would eat everything, anytime of the day."

Everything included pork, fried foods, dairy products, macaroni and cheese and pizza. That all ended when Bandy had a health scare and an operation to remove a cyst that doctors attributed to her poor eating habits. "I could barely walk after that surgery," she says. "I take my health very seriously now."

And she is serious about helping the couples she works with lead longer, healthier lives. Despite some opposition, she often will challenge the couples to give up foods that they enjoy, particularly fatty soul food. "For those who may have high blood pressure, diabetes or high cholesterol, I explain how during slavery we had to eat the fatty foods and the pork leftovers," she says. "Now, I try to explain to them that they don't have to eat like that."

The men, or "kings," also present another challenge for the trainer. Many of them are reluctant to participate, especially during the aerobic part of the workout, unless they can match the efforts of the rest of the class. Bandy, however, is experienced at soothing the most ruffled feathers. "I let them know that it's okay if you are unable to do it," says the trainer. "Once you can get them through that, once you have their mind, you can get them to do anything. There is no more competition."