'A message to young fathers: step up instead of stepping away': executive producer of the award-winning documentary Daddy Hunger: A Message Of Redemption, Hope & Love!

I love reading the Bible book of Matthew. I've read it over and over, but recently I had a revelation. As the story goes, as Jesus rose from his baptism in the water, the heavens opened up, and the spirit of God came down in the form of a dove. Then there's God's own voice, saying: "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

This was validation! So if Jesus, a perfect man, needed validation from His father, then how much do our imperfect children need validation from their fathers?

Unfortunately, we have a generation of children who have not been validated by their fathers. Children who have not been loved or guided by their fathers. Many who don't even know their fathers--at all. Too many fathers have stepped away instead of stepping up to connect spiritually, emotionally and socially with their children. Now, it's time for those absent fathers to realize how important it is to love, nurture and mentor their children, and help them grow into well-rounded, principled men and women.

I didn't meet my biological father until I was 41. I would wonder daily, "What does he look like? What does his voice sound like? What parts of me are like him?" I finally decided to take control of my destiny and feed my "Daddy Hunger," the need to identify and interact with my father.

I found him and went to his job. He was a professor of sociology at an Ivy League university, and as soon as I met him, it was like analyzing DNA. Immediately, my "hunger" was gone.

We remained in touch for only a short while afterwards. In the end, I realized that if a Ph.D. would turn his back on his children, anyone would. So I vowed to break the cycle and not let the sins of my father visit my children. IT WAS OVER!

While working in the Department of Corrections in California, I found that more than 85 percent of the male and female inmates were fatherless. I interviewed inmates, mothers and youth whose fathers were absent. Those interviews served as the foundation for the documentary Daddy Hunger.

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Unfortunately, that desperate longing continues to plague our community. It's frightening when you see a census report that indicates that nearly 50 percent of Black children are born into single-parent households headed by women.

What happened to the kings, priests and prophets that God intended us, Black fathers, to be? There are so many men who father children but have no sense of responsibility, so they deny them, creating a longing for "daddy" in our communities. These negligent men would rather buy cognac than Similac. They would rather buy spinners instead of binkies.

Despite best efforts by Black mothers, a good father is critical to a strong family structure, and there are some things that require a man's input if a child is to fully develop socially and emotionally.

More and more young Black men are traveling down the wrong road because they have not been shown the right path by a positive male role model. Some experts say this negative behavior is a cry--from young men and women--for their fathers to become involved in their lives and provide some stability.

I believe, first of all, that we fathers--young and old--must return home and validate our children. Tell them who they are and where they have come from. We need to tell them that we are proud of them and that if they fall down, we are here to help them get up.

My Brothers, what if every man was simply a father to his own child(ren)? How quickly would our communities heal and reverse every negative statistic that plagues our communities?

So, I say, go and validate them!

COPYRIGHT 2008 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale Group