Is your love bank closed? By the time you are in trouble, by the time you are overdrawn, it's too late to make a deposit. The bank is closed

I watched intently as two boys--both no more than 10--played a video game, one of those spaceship shoot-'em-up diversions that kids seem to love so much. In the midst of the game, one of the boys yelled," bank more fuel, bank more fuel, if you want the game to continue. One more hit and you're a goner."

Seeming to shrug him off, the other boy said," I'll be all right."

Seconds later, his spaceship was blown to pieces. The game was over. As I walked away, I thought about how the lesson this young boy had learned from that game could also be applied to the way much bigger boys, men, play their favorite pastime--the relationship game. In fact, if more men thought about keeping the relationship going with their lady the way these boys thought about keeping their video game going, more of us would have happier, more fulfilling love connections.

In the relationship game, instead of banking fuel to keep your spaceship from blowing up, you're banking love for your inevitable screw-ups. Because nothing can end a relationship sooner than having to try to make amends with your lady when you have a low balance in your love bank.

Ask yourself this question, and answer it honestly: Do you have a large balance in your lady's love bank? Or will one more withdrawal cause you to be NSF, non-sufficient funds?

Many Brothers give little thought to the concept of working to build up our lady's love for us for a rainy day. Instead of banking love, we go day in and day out on the verge of being overdrawn with her. We leave her in a state where she teeters between love and hate, in a neutral no-man's land.

In fact, some of us have such a low balance in our love bank that if we hang out late with the fellows, we're subject to be overdrawn. Don't call her. We're overdrawn. Forget her birthday. We're overdrawn. Say something inconsiderate, act like a bonehead. We're overdrawn. As a result, many of us spend most of our time on the underside of zero, writing bad relationship checks for money that we know that we don't have in our love bank, and then running around for the next few days chaotically trying to cover those checks before they bounce, and we are given the boot.

So what can a Brother do to build up the balance in his love bank? Well, you have two options. You can make many small deposits, or a few large deposits. But generally speaking, small, regular deposits often go further than one or two huge deposits. At the love bank, consistency is more important than size.

Talk to her. Do things with her. Buy her flowers, or give her a good shoulder massage. Make an effort to include her in your life. Schedule quality time each week to give each other undivided attention. These are ways to make those small deposits.

In the end, your love will grow, not because of what you do, or buy, or say. Once you have something to work with in your love bank, your capital will grow because of the same ingredient needed to build a balance at any bank. It's compounded interest. Because once you begin to show concern, once you get past the surface issues that she is facing, you will find a whole new world.

You'll find that building a nice balance in the love bank through small, consistent deposits is the best way to build a lasting, loving relationship. It's much better than the Brother who tries to build his love bank balance solely through the use of the night deposit box. After all, those funds aren't counted until the next business day.

COPYRIGHT 2006 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning