Facing the fear of failure - For Brothers Only

When an amazing man named George Dawson died last year, he left an indelible legacy that can, in many ways, dramatically impact the lives of each of us. His is a legacy of perseverance, dedication and a refusal to be stymied by the fear of failure.

It was his resolve to stare down the fear of failure and overcome it that made this Texan so special. Dawson was 103 when he died; he was 98--98--when he took his first step to learn how to read. He didn't care what others thought or said. He didn't care about those who asked why he would pursue such a goal at such an advanced age. He didn't care that in whatever classroom he would sit he would be the focal point, the object of curiosity, stares and whispers--maybe even the object of nasty jokes. He didn't even care that he might not be able to do it and could fall flat on his face. He just knew it was something he wanted, and despite the obstacles, it was something he had to pursue--no matter how much he feared what might, or might not, happen. "I never would have known if I could do it if I hadn't at least tried to do it," he said once.

Dawson tried, succeeded and eventually went on to write a book, Life Is So Good, sharing tidbits of wisdom while outlining his incredible life journey, a journey that kept him out of school as a boy because he had to go to work to support the family. But even at 98, he took the first step to realize a long-cherished dream--the kind of step that so many of us never take, can't take, won't take, simply because we're frozen in the paralyzing grip of fear--more specifically, the fear of failure.

All of us can learn a life-changing lesson from Dawson, who was a glowing testament to the power of perseverance, an example of succeeding against the odds. Emboldened by a spirit to succeed, he didn't just learn to read, he became a model and an inspiration for all of those who don't have the courage to take that first step and simply try.

It's no secret that the fear of failure has ended more dreams than a roaring clap of thunder in the middle of the night. But can you imagine how history would have been shaped if Martin Luther King Jr. had given in to his fears, if Jackie Robinson hadn't had the strength to overcome his doubts and give Major League Baseball a try, if the Little Rock Nine had been stopped in their tracks by their fears--both physical and mental--and gave in to the thought that they might not stack up to their White counterparts at Little Rock Central High?

They all had something in common, boldly taking the step into the unknown, perhaps fearing everything but the fear of failure itself. More recently, and on different levels, there have been other illuminating examples of those who, in the face of a challenge, didn't just throw up their hands and say forget it because of their apprehensions. If so, Venus and Serena never would have made it to the top and dominate the tennis world; Cathy Hughes wouldn't have become a pioneering broadcast entrepreneur known as the "Queen of Radio"; and an adventurous man named Elliott Boston III never would have embarked on the phenomenal quest to climb the tallest peak on each of the seven continents, including the world s tallest, the 29,000-foot Mt. Everest in Nepal.

In our own everyday lives, we face the fear of failure in various aspects of our being. In romance, for example, the fear of failure is based primarily on the possibility of rejection. None of us likes the idea of being turned down, turned away or dismissed. What Brother hasn't seen a woman he's attracted to but just couldn't find the courage to approach her? In too many cases, he chooses not to act, a choice that gives him immediate membership into the club of rationalizers, rationalizers who usually assess the situation by saying: "Well, I wasn't good enough anyway."

But even if you're rejected, at least you'll know that you didn't miss a chance at romance. How many times have we heard about a Brother who thought he had no chance with the woman of his dreams, only to find out too late that she was interested in him all along but was waiting for him to make the first move?

Traditionally, from the time that boys discover girls and throughout adulthood, there is a continuing degree of apprehension when it comes to approaching women they are attracted to--even though most men will never admit it. But Brothers should embrace the idea of taking advantage of the moment because--even if they are rejected--they won't have to suffer the agony of wondering what could have been if they hadn't passed up the opportunity. A wise person once said: "The greatest risk is not taking one." So, even if you are rejected, accept it and move on.

If you study the history of any successful person, you'll probably find a string of failures, rejections and disappointments that infiltrated their lives before there was a celebration of triumph. So, there's nothing wrong with a bit of failure, as long as you're not overwhelmed by it, consumed by it or paralyzed by it.