'It's the thought that counts' - For Brothers Only - gift-giving - Column

IT'S asked around this time every year. And until now, I've never really had a difficult time answering the "What do you want for Christmas?" question. I would usually reply in quick order: Gimme that. I can use this. I could use that." It was always material things, usually expensive material things. Perhaps the newest high-tech gadget, or the latest fashion item.

But as we approach this Christmas, that question doesn't seem important at all. Unlike previous Christmases, the joy and celebration associated

with this holiday season comes with an uncertainty and anxiety to the extent I've never seen before in my lifetime. There has been much talk about America losing its innocence after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. And perhaps nowhere can that be seen more than during Christmas, a time of the year when, to some extent, we all revert to our childhood ways, a time of the year when innocence abounds among the young and old.

Since 9/11, we, collectively, and in our own way, have had to come to grips with the idea of terrorists, anthrax and smallpox, kidnapers and snipers and shoe bombers. We've had to deal with a stock market crash and recession, layoffs, corporate scandals and bankruptcies, the idea of war with Iraq and the ongoing war on terror.

I understand that we were never guaranteed a life free from danger. But these days, uncertainty seems to loom in every move we make. Nowadays, most of us think twice before entering a high-rise building. We think twice before opening our mail. We think twice before pumping gas. And some of us have given up flying altogether. Some folks have purchased gas masks, bulletproof vests, guns, and even built "safe" rooms in their homes.

As a result of the tragic and unpredictable events of the recent past, many Brothers I know have vowed to spend more time with their family, volunteer in their community and even attend church regularly. It's becoming more about what you do in life rather than what material things you possess in life.

Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe I'm getting like the old folks who express indifference when asked what they want for Christmas. "I don't need anything," they usually say, or "I'll appreciate whatever you get me. It's the thought that counts."

Instead of a designer suit or a cashmere sweater for Christmas, I just wish I could go back in time, back to the days when life was simpler, back to those innocent days growing up in South Carolina, days that, with each passing day, seem more and more of a distant memory.

You know what I miss about those days? I miss jumping on the bed, doing karate chops, running to and fro. I miss making funny faces, climbing trees, riding the school bus, being able to eat whatever I wanted. I miss not having any money, but not needing any. I miss having no responsibilities, no mortgage, no debts, no bills, only a free spirit and an open mind.

I miss the smell of a hot comb, a pot of turnip greens, or a bubbling batch of chitlins on the stove. I miss Legos, army men, Coke bottles that I can cash in for deposits. I miss spending long hours poring over the Sears catalog, you know, the fat one with the thick toy section. I miss water fights, spitball fights, playing marbles, horseshoes, dodgeball, tag, and hide-and-go-seek.

I miss chewing Hubba Bubba bubblegum, eating Tootsie Rolls, rock candy, Milk Duds, Mary Janes, and Now 'n Laters. I miss riding in the back seat of a car with no safety belt. I miss riding my bike down a steep hill with no helmet or kneepads, or riding in the back of a pickup truck on a hot summer day. I miss drinking water from an old garden hose.

I miss the simple childhood pleasures.

The indifference of older folks when it comes to Christmas gifts may come from their simple appreciation of life itself, from their appreciation that, through turmoil and strife, wars and depressions, they have made it. Not an easy thing to do, as we know all too well now. But when you do make it in this world, it kind of makes Christmas gifts seem a little petty.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. My faith is strong, and my faith tells me the true meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with material gifts. The past year or so has taught me to take nothing for granted, and to treasure everything. So to my family and friends, this Christmas don't ask me what I want for a gift. I'm just happy to see another holiday season. This Christmas, as the old folks say, "I'll appreciate whatever you get me. It's the thought that counts."

COPYRIGHT 2002 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group