'Tis the season for giving - Sisterspeak - Column

THE holiday season is upon us, and thoughts wander to shopping and eating and partying, among other festive preoccupations. It would be wonderful if more of our minds and hearts would wander in the direction of giving. Giving. Giving. GIVING. This is a good time of year to assess our giving scorecards. As you contemplate resolutions for the next year, make it your goal to give to those who are less fortunate, those in need of your (and anybody else's) help, knowledge and compassion.

The importance of giving has been in my thoughts lately, especially since a friend sort of chastised me for continuing to be involved in two charitable organizations that are dear to my heart. Her comments came at a time when I was besieged by deadlines on the job, stressful home issues, and trying to fulfill commitments to my organizations, both of which were in crises. I was stressed out and sleep-deprived, and it showed. "You said you were going to stop doing all this stuff for these groups," she scolded, shaking her head.

She didn't mean any harm; actually, she was expressing concern for my well-being. But her words annoyed me then and continue to nag at me now. "Are you criticizing me for being involved?" I snapped.

This particular friend belongs to no organization and her No. 1 charity is herself.

A few days later during a telephone conversation with another acquaintance, she mentioned her sorority. "Are you involved now?" I asked, innocently.

"Oh, no! If I become active, I'd have to do something, be on a committee, go to meetings," she responded. "I don't have time for that kind of stuff."

These Sisters are attractive, single, earn good salaries and spend many a weekend lying in bed, alone, watching television and pampering themselves. They have the time, talent and ability to do something meaningful to help others, but that is the last thing on their personal agendas.

On the other hand, there are numerous Black women and men who are overworked, have children and/or spouses, yet they still find time to make a contribution to a cause other than their own closets and self-gratification. Radio personality Tom Joyner and his wife, fitness expert Donna Richardson, tirelessly work for the Tom Joyner Foundation, which has donated more than $10 million to historically Black colleges to fund scholarships. Donna also has her Girlfriends' Coffee Talk (founded with Pat Smith and Carra Scott), which is designed to promote literacy and wellness among girls and women.

Holly Robinson Peete, in addition to having three children, a commuter marriage and a successful career, works tirelessly to put together fund-raisers for her and husband (NFL quarterback) Rodney Peete's HollyRod Foundation, which was established to help "financially challenged" individuals who suffer from Parkinson's disease, and breast and ovarian cancer.

Another woman I know confided that she was donating a million dollars to her alma mater. I congratulated her and started day dreaming about what it must be like to do such a wonderful thing for an institution so dear. Not many of us can give a million dollars to our favorite charity, and we don't all have the name recognition and contacts of Tom and Donna. But each of us can give something that is needed just as much as--perhaps more than--money: Time.

Just think of the rich reward of mentoring a young girl or a teen who, by just spending time with you and getting another perspective on life, decides to go to college. She doesn't get pregnant or otherwise drop out of high school like other girls in her neighborhood. She now has higher goals and self-esteem.

What about donating money to buy groceries or toys or other items for an underprivileged family instead of spending it on a new pair of shoes or a snazzy holiday outfit? Volunteer with a social service agency that has programs for disabled children or troubled teens. Or at a women's or homeless shelter. Read to elementary school students. Mentor a young person or tutor a student once a week and help him or her improve grades and self-image. When you clean out your bulging closets, donate your discarded work clothes to an agency that helps outfit low-income women for the job market.

Far too many of us lose sight of what the holidays are all about. 'Tis the season for giving. Give and be enriched.

COPYRIGHT 2002 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group