How to improve your health at the gym - & social life - Body Talk

LOOKING for a way to get healthy and improve your social life? Joining a health and fitness center is a great way to start! Think about it. Hundreds of people, all gathered for the same purpose (usually), with a common goal of working out and staying healthy. The gym is perhaps the best place to meet people who share your interest in healthy living.

"A gym is a good place to meet people," says Los Angeles clinical psychologist Dr. Gaff Elizabeth Wyatt, a sex therapist, researcher and professor of psychiatry and bio-behavioral science at UCLA. "It increases the likelihood that you might find someone with similar interests, and for that reason, it's better than a bar."

Even if you're married, you can still improve your relationship at the gym. You don't have to be single to reap the benefits of spending time together, working out and sharing an essential part of your lives. Michael and Tracie Dugan of Studio City, Calif., have been married since 1994 and discovered early on that they both have a passion for working out. The couple exercise together at least once a week, and separately four or five times a week. Their daughter, Brooke, also is very active.

And while not everyone at the gym is looking to socialize, the industry's latest trend is to make the gym a place that people don't want to leave. You've got juice bars, saunas, Jacuzzis, full-service spas with massage therapy and even cafes. For many, going to the gym has become more of a lifestyle experience than a way to improve and maintain good health.

If you are one of those people who are interested in dating someone at the gym, there are some subtle and not-so-subtle ways to make it easier to catch his or her eye. There are also some behaviors to avoid.

1. Stay focused. The hardest way to win friends at the gym is to act like you're only at the gym to win friends. Handle your workout business, show that you're serious about getting and staying healthy and things may just fall into place.

2. It's all about the clothes. Wear something that flatters you. Don't just go to the gym in your old, holey sweatpants. By the same token, your gym clothes shouldn't be too dressy or revealing; functionality is the best way to look good.

3. Take a class. You're bound to meet more people stepping, spinning or doing yoga and Pilates than just working out on the treadmill. Get to class early and stay late to talk with your classmates.

4. If you are interested in meeting people and want to be approached, it's probably not the best idea to wear headphones. Take the headphones off, make contact with someone if he she interests you. If you don't want to be bothered, the easiest thing to do is just put the headphones back on.

5. Understand that "no" means "no." Many people at the gym are there just to work out, and don't want to meet anybody. Understand that and let it go. Do not stalk the person to the locker room, follow him or her around the gym or otherwise make yourself a nuisance. You don't want a reputation for being a hunter/predator.

"You can't assume that everyone is there for the same purpose," says Wyatt, whose latest book, No More Clueless Sex: 10 Secrets to a Sex Life That Works for Both of You, was written with her husband, Dr. Louis Wyatt. "You still have to go through the process of talking to the person and getting to know more about them."

COPYRIGHT 2004 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group