Parent educators: Maryland couple blends theory and practice

DELANEY O'Gilvie is a "big girl." Her parents, Glen O'Gilvie and Heidi Oliver-O'Gilvie of Upper Marlboro, Md., learned that the hard way this summer at the mall when their 3-year-old issued two declarations of independence. First, she told her Daddy she didn't want to ride in the pushcart; she wanted to walk next to Daddy. Second, when her Daddy teased her, telling her, "You're not a big girl; you're still a baby," she replied: "I am a big girl. I know Spanish," and she proceeded to count all the way up to 13--in Spanish.

"I looked at her, said, 'OK,' and I took her out of the cart," O'Gilvie recalls.

The O'Gilvies say it is surprises like these that keep them on their toes, and make them use their knowledge as educators to try to stay at least one step ahead of her. Both have master's degrees in the education field and focus on youth development.

The young parents, who met as students at Virginia State University, say their child-raising philosophy is based on love, education, exposure and positive role modeling.

They want to make sure that Delaney knows how much they love her; that she has access to education in pre-school and at home; and that she is exposed to life outside of school--activities such as gardening with her father and playing games. The O'Gilvies also want to ensure that Delaney can look to them for good examples on how to live. They put what they've learned in school--theory--into practice.

"I learned [in school] that children are so impressionable, so I try to model appropriate behavior at all times," says Oliver-O'Gilvie, a fourth-grade teacher at Rosaryville Elementary and program director at the Columbia Heights Youth Club. "Delaney's like a sponge--she picks up everything, whether it's positive or negative. So, we just try hard to always practice positive behavior."

O'Gilvie, who works with older children, says that he believes one of the most important things for young people to do is to realize the importance of being involved in something outside of school.

"What I've learned in most cases is that it's important to be civic-minded and involved at a young age," says O'Gilvie, who is program officer for the youth development initiative of the Community Foundation for the National Capital Region. "The importance of exposure, and the importance of what we call out-of-school-time programming can complement the school experience. Being engaged in the community and helping others is just as important as what you do in the classroom."

Oliver-O'Gilvie, who is pursuing a doctorate, also says that bringing up Delaney is a partnership--not only between her and her husband, but also among Delaney's grandparents, who form the "nucleus of [their] support." Glen and Carol O'Gilvie live in New York where they raised their son. And John and Gail Oliver live nearby in Washington, D.C. Delaney also has a cousin, Madyson Oliver, who is 23 days older, with whom she is growing up. The two are fast friends as well as relatives.

A typical day for Delaney means waking up, getting washed up and dressed in the clothes laid out the night before and eating breakfast. Oliver-O'Gilvie has to leave the house a bit earlier, so her husband supervises what has become routine for their daughter. He drops her off at school with words of encouragement and a discussion about the upcoming day. At home in the evenings, Delaney and her parents read books together, play, watch educational television and talk about what happened at school (Delaney must have forgotten about her Spanish lessons).

Delaney says she enjoys getting party invitations, eating pizza, playing, gymnastics and school. "What I like about school--I like playing and learning things," Delaney says.

Like any parents, the O'Gilvies try not to push their daughter into any activities or down any particular path. They have hopes and dreams for her, but to a certain extent, they want her to be able to find her own way when the time comes. Every day, it seems, that time is coming faster and faster.

"My dream for her, and Heidi shares that dream, is that she would be very productive personally and professionally," says O'Gilvie. "And that she would be in a helpful profession, where she can help those who are less fortunate than she is."

COPYRIGHT 2003 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group